The debut of my new photo-blog
and also… go like my facebook page. It is awfully lonely over there >___>
I don’t have to tell you that Steubenville is all over the news.
I don’t have to tell you that it’s a fucking joke that Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond, the two teenagers convicted of raping a sixteen year old girl, were only sentenced to a combined three years in juvenile prison. Each will serve a year for the rape itself; Mays will serve an additional year for “illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material.”
I probably don’t even have to tell you that the media treatment of this trial has been a perfect, if utterly sickening, example of rape culture, with its focus on how difficult and painful this event has been for the rapists who raped a sixteen year old girl then bragged about it on social media.
And I almost certainly don’t have to tell you that the world is full of seemingly nice, normal…
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Got my daughter a surprise and boy was she surprised and thrilled. I told her she could shave anything she wants except her vulva because the soap would hurt it (I wasn’t sure she remembered when I used to shave). So she told me “No one shaves their vulva mommy, just monsters.”.
waiting to see what her surprise is
For the very first time ever (besides the occasional “I want my daddy” tantrum when something isn’t going her way), my 4 year old choose to be at her fathers house over my house. She wanted to go stay at his house on a day that it was not one of “his”designated nights. I am not going to lie, I cried on the drive over to drop her suitcase off. And when I got there I was met with a happy confident child.
As much as it breaks my heart to have my fantasy of being her #1 forever, and scares the crap out of me that one day she may choose to live with him, I am so thankful for this moment. I am thankful because this means that my daughter has a loving competent male figure in her life. This is more than I could ever ask for and will have a lifelong impact on her. This also means that she is well-adjusted and happy enough that she can enjoy herself no matter who’s house she is at.
So even though this is a sad, tearful milestone for me it is something that I am so thankful for.
Bittersweet is my word of the day.
I drank the cool-aide and feel instantly more bougie. I signed up for pintrest.
I needed a place to organize my links and recipes.
But don’t tell anyone, I told some friends I never would.
Though I am sure it will take oh 2 days for someone to find this and harass me about it.
My first PP period and its been all junkfood, tears and YA fiction up in here.
A little irritated I only made it 5m while tandem nursing and having donated over 500 oz of milk.
The Stranger: Or they will be at 4 pm tomorrow afternoon. Judge Jones has granted Duran and Olejnik’s attorneys’ request to release their clients, who have been in prison—without convictions or charges—for five months and in solitary confinement for two months.
I wrote about visiting them in prison, and how they got there, in this story.
More details after I get Judge Jones’s ruling—but this is happy, happy news. And it’s a correction of a situation in the justice system that has seemed very, very far from just.
The third grand jury refuser, Maddie Pfeiffer, is still in prison, but his attorney did not join the motion to file for his release. That motion, I’m guessing, isn’t far away.
Of course, they might eventually be charged with criminal contempt—but at least that would have a semblance of due process, an opportunity for a public trial, and…
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As a feminist I have a love/hate relationship with the book The Red Tent. The hate is pretty short, it is adapted from parts of the Bible. Before you get offended I do not hate Christianity. I do however resent Christianity and the Bible particularly as being a tool of oppression. Christianity was deliberately used to wipe out Paganism which honored the special role females have in the creation of life. In Mesopotamic days the God’s were female and only later in time were they re-written and given identities that complement the men in their life (i.e. “So and so’s sister/mother/daughter) and no longer had any role of their own. The Bible in my mind has been used to keep women down. Often this was accomplished by writing female accomplishments out of history and attributing sin as a female characteristic. A prime example of this can be seen in the slander of Mary Magdalene and the denial of her role as an apostle. An apostle can be quite literally be translated as a disciple or “one who accepts and assists in spreading the doctrines of another”. Mary’s role in the Bible was the first of Jesus’ disciples, it was SHE who was instructed to bare witness to people of Jesus’ resurrection. I could go on for days about this but I am getting way off topic here.
My love of The Red Tent is much more important. Hopefully everyone has read The Red Tent (or will). The book is is a tale of womanhood. I was immensely drawn to the practices that celebrate womanhood while reading this book. I was transported to a world where when a young girl bleeds for the first time it is celebrated and honored because she is now not only capable of creating life but sustaining it. I felt angry at my own experience with my first menstrual blood and the fear that accompanied if of people knowing that I was menstruating. I was terrified that I would somehow leak onto my pants or that somehow everyone would know I was menstruating. Even though I was excited to become a woman the experience was tainted with shame and fear. In this book Diamant spins a tale of Rachels coming of age and how when her first moon blood comes she is poured “As much sweet wine as he could hold” and fed her by hand as she laid in bed for days relaxing. They collected each precious drop of her blood to use to bring blessing upon the garden. She was now welcome as a member of this tribe of woman that she had only been able to observe as a child in the past. Her womanhood was not a shame but a celebration.
The Red Tent goes on to describe child-birth and motherhood in a similar manner. All aspects of woman-hood is considered a blessing and exactly what it is… amazing and life sustaining. Every month blood was celebrated as a gift that “courses through us, cleansing the body of last month’s death, preparing the body to revive the new month’s life”. When woman became pregnant they were doted on and birth was a celebration that culminated in rest period that followed or a “Baby Moon”.
I feel that with birth being celebrated more and more each day with the resurgence of midwifery, home-births, pregnancy clothes that show off bumps instead of hiding them and belly-casts. Gone are the days when pregnancy should be concealed. Birth is beginning to be looked at as representative of the wonderful abilities of women instead of a complication to be treated. Even the resurgence of public breastfeeding is a testament to the value of womanhood returning.
The time is now to take the celebration of womanhood back to where it belongs. We can do this in many ways… it is the time to create our own traditions that give our daughters value and honor.
We can do this by celebrating our daughters entry into womanhood as it rightfully should be. Let’s eliminate the feeling of shame regarding menstruation. The first part of doing this is to not hide you own menstruation. Talk to her about her bodies ability to support and sustain life well before the age of her first menstruation. It can be told in simple terms at the first age of curiosity. My daughter knew about periods as soon as she was able to follow me into the bathroom. When the time comes for your daughters first menstruation, celebrate it. I feel like in the age of pintrest level creativity we can come up with a few ideas of how to celebrate first blood in a modern manner. Bake her a cake, have a little celebration, download her a menstruation app on her phone, help her select how she wants to collect her menstrual blood (cloth or disposable pads, tampons, menstrual cup or even a sea sponge).
It is the time to start celebrate our sisters pregnancies and births as women of a tribe should. Let’s turn baby showers into celebrations of life instead of a means to collect items. We can do this by having baby blessings where everyone in a deep and meaningful way records a message for mom and baby. We can cast our sisters bellies and create a life long memory for her and her child. We can make things for the baby that she/he will be able to pass down to their children. When it is time for her birth throw her and that baby a party. Make a “birthday cake” and cook her food for her baby-moon. A meal train can be a wonderful way to help a new mother relax and be able to enjoy her baby.
As a photographer celebrating womanhood was what called me to birth photography. Being able to help women celebrate their pregnancies and the birth of their children is one of the greatest honors I could have.
I am nowhere near as creative as some of them women who I follow online. Some of the things they can think up make me feel utterly incompetent. I would love to pass this ball into their court’s and see the amazing things we can do to honor our daughters, mothers and sisters.
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From the Denver Post:
The Justice Department on Friday informed a man who was beaten by three Denver police officers in 2009 that it will not charge any of them with civil-rights violations stemming from the case.
Alexander Landau, 23, said representatives from the department and the FBI called him at about 6:30 p.m. to inform him of the decision.
“They said they didn’t feel like they had enough evidence to bring federal charges against any of the officers who were initially involved,” Landau said.
The agents did not expound on the decision, he said.
“The gentleman was saying they just didn’t feel like they had sufficient evidence,” he said. “It just doesn’t make sense to me.”
The decision brought vindication to the officers and disillusionment to Landau, whose federal lawsuit against the city ended in 2011 with a $795,000 settlement, one of the largest payouts in city history to…
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Am I the only mom who can’t will herself to let down for a pump through imagery and will? I feel like willing myself to let down for a pump works just as well as willing myself to have an orgasm.
I rarely come across a diaper I hate. Especially if the only reviews I can find online are glowing. However that is another rant for another day about using blogs to get free products then reviewing them without honesty. I have decided that it is impossible that anyone who reviewed this diaper could have used it more than once before reviewing it. Which is ridiculous because there have been diapers I thought i LOVED after the first time using them only to find out that with time they suck. So bloggers, please give it at least 2 weeks before reviewing diapers.
Ok so diaper I am reviewing today is a GlowBug pocket diaper. This diaper is a one size picket diaper. This diaper uses snaps and attaches with two vertical snaps. it has an opening at the top and bottom of the diaper. This diaper has double leg gussets (which honestly felt more decorative than anything.
Some of my favorite diapers in the past have been chinese cheapie diapers. I can’t figure out if these are from china but I am suspecting they are.
Problems with this diaper
1. This diaper is WAY to lightweight. It has zero shape and the only way to make it not so flimsy is to use an soaker like a Rumparooz 6R that has some bulk to it.
2. A feature I thought I would love, the opening at the top and bottom of the diaper ended up being the most enraging part for me. A piece of fabric on the back that should be tucked in to keep the insert from getting clothes wet was forever coming untucked (partially because the diaper was so flimsy). This drove my OCD nuts.
3. The nail in the coffin was the snap tearing through the diaper because the fabric was so flimsy within 3 months of purchase.
All the the reviews online site their cute prints for being why they are such awesome diapers. You can give me a boring print any day over this POS diaper >.<
So GlowBug diapers gets to go to the top of my fluff hate list, even if it is a very cute POS
Being that little P is my last baby I am in no hurry for her to grow up. It was the opposite with my first. I held my breath waiting for each milestone. This time I am sad with each milestone she hits. Saying all that of course little P is just blowing past milestones. She has been sitting unassisted since 4 months. She is grabbing for everything and putting everything in her mouth. She has been desperately trying to snatch food for a little while now. All the signs were there that she was ready to start playing with her food.
I firmly believe in baby led weaning. More and more studies are showing that babies are healthier when they are able to feed themselves. And it makes sense for a few reasons.
1. When a baby can get food into its mouth itself and chews ans swallows this food, you KNOW his/her body is ready for solid foods. When a baby is born he/she has an open gut meaning there is spaces in his gut meant to absorb whole proteins from breastmilk. The introduction of solids with an open gut can cause a baby to develop dangerous lifelong food allergies. The gut closes sometime between 4 to 6 months. Every baby is different. We can only guess when each babies gut opens by evaluating the signs that he is ready for food (sitting unassisted, tongue thrust reflux is gone, picking toys up and putting them in mouth, doubled birth weight). When a baby is able to feed himself his skill level determines just how much food makes it into his mouth. The further baby develops the more solids he is taking in.
2. A baby can take control of his/her food intake. She will only eat as much as she is hungry. The ability to stop eating when full is a crucial ability for health.
3. Solids under a year are for experience only. More and more information is surfacing that is telling us that babies need nothing more than breastmilk or formula for the first year. This means food under a year is for learning and playing. I don’t know about you but personally I would way rather experience a banana in natural form than a processed mush that looks and tastes nothing like the real thing. If you think about it she is getting SO MUCH learning from eating a real banana
When a baby eats a real banana she can smell the ripe banana.
She can feel the mushy texture in her hands.
She can practice her fine motor skills by picking up the banana and putting it in her mouth.
She can begin to understand cause and effect by learning that when she gets it into her mouth she gets a sweet reward.
She is developing her pincer grasp as she picks up food and eats it.
Since she eats at the same time as everyone else she can experience the social aspects of mealtime.
When she is playing with her food she is more likely to try new foods that she might not 100% be keen on the flavor of.
Baby led weaning is the perfect complement to breastfeeding because baby controls how much breastmilk or food she gets. The idea is that baby can take control of the weaning process and can nurse as long as she needs it.
We have started recently playing with food😀 She gets a very small amount of food into her mouth at this point but is loving experiencing food. I took some pictures of breakfast this morning.